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Monday, July 23, 2007

Is there a God?

Gramps is very poorly at the moment and was moved to intensive care today and put on a dialysis machine in the hope that it will kick start his kidneys into working ontop of developing pneumonia.

Im not a believer in religion but at times of worry we all want to hope that there is truly someone up there looking down. I think Ive only prayed a handful of times in my life when things have gotten pretty bad and right now I feel like screaming out "is anyone listening" because no matter how hard Im praying its not making a damn bit of difference - I know a lot of people in times like this say that there cant be as things would get better but Im still holding onto that belief.
I sit here wishing I could trade places and that it was me that was ill or that there was something I could do and although I know how much of a fighter he is and how strong he is I also know that it is something that is out of anyones control.
I hate the way life has to go one when all I want to do is sit by his bedside every minute of the day so he can see Im never going away and knowing that he has nothing to be scared of. Ive even told Nan she's not taking him just yet and if she does I'll never forgive her...its just not his time and I'll make sure of that .


"When you are ill,
our sun goes under a cloud.
Your presence in our lives
is such a bright joy
that everything seems in shadow
when you're not here.
When you aren't feeling well,
we feel the lack
of your glowing energy
and contagious vitality.
When you are sick
we feel incomplete,
like a jigsaw puzzle
with a missing piece;
Please rest,
take good care of yourself,
and get better.
We miss you
and want you back."

5 comments:

Lynsey said...

Oh Bex, sending you all my love. I will pray for you and your grandad xxx

Caz said...

Thinking of you, and sending you a big hug. Come on over if you need a shoulder to cry on.
Caz
x

Rachael said...

Bex, Don't do prayers but want you to know that my thoughts are with you at the moment. Rach xxx

Gin said...

Sorry to hear that 'Gramps' is so poorly. Thinking of you.x

Liz said...

Thinking of you and sending much love to your Gramps xxxx